When Less is More: Things I’ve Learned from Sports & Porn

The ratings are in for the World Cup match between the US and England. 17.1 million viewers watched the broadcasts of ABC and Univision. That number dwarfs the viewership of all the games in this year’s Stanley Cup finals, which drew a 36-year best 8.28 million viewers in Game 6. It also beat the first four games of the NBA finals, which happen to feature the two biggest teams in the sport (also the two most insufferable, but that doesn’t help my point so let’s drop it).

Soccer is one of my favorite sports – well, okay, European club soccer; the point is, I love it – but I have to think that novelty plays a big part in the ratings in the United States. The World Cup is played once every four years and teams are guaranteed only three games. The games themselves run for 90 minutes.

Compare that to hockey, where games run upwards of three hours. Or both the NHL and NBA, where the regular seasons last more than 80 games and are followed by two months of playoffs featuring half the teams in the league. In either case, novelty never enters the equation.

So be it, but I know I would find both sports more enjoyable if there was a little less to see. Having so much hockey and so much basketball, my enjoyment is minimized by the quantity available. I think the NHL in particular missed an opportunity to reduce their regular season schedule after returning from the (most recent) lockout. A 30 to 40 game schedule would reduce the supply; would an increase in demand follow? Who knows. Certainly not enough to make up for the lost revenue in ticket sales. At least, not at first, but I wonder if interest would grow over time, given a shorter, easier-to-follow-from-start-to-finish season. Surely there is something to be said for that, but opinions are like blogs: everybody has one, and it usually comes from an asshole (I think that’s how the expression goes).

Speaking of which, I’m reminded of what happened this afternoon when I was visiting a customer’s office. There’s a girl with a perfectly round ass who, every time I’m there, seems to go out of her way to walk by me in her tight pants, even if I have to wait a few extra hours for her to do so. It’s very distracting. Naturally, I went home to look up “hot asian ass” and let me tell you, there’s some sick shit out there on the internet when you look up “hot asian ass”. Looking up “asian girls with big asses” and “asian girls with round asses” won’t help. Some really really graphic shit. Which is great for when you want it (like, say, most of the time). But when you want to remind yourself of the hottie in the office, it’s not easy finding even a semi-clothed ass; forget about a fully clothed one. You’re not going to find it in the first hundred links, I checked. And checked. And eventually I realized, none of what I was looking at was as attractive to me as that girl in the office. I guess sometimes, seeing less…is more.

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